Why we need an objective perspective

When we look at ourselves in the mirror, do we see what’s actually there?  Perhaps you are shocked when a stranger says something nice about a colour on you, or maybe your friends often point out a quality about you, that you simply cannot see.

This is the marvelousness of the ‘objective perspective’. You might be wondering why this is so important or thinking, surely, I know myself best?

Well, I believe the first essential step for a dynamic transformation in your Image is getting this illusive objective perspective on who you are and how you are made – both physically and innately.

Here are two reasons why this is a good first step for someone wanting to transform their Image!

1. We cannot view ourselves objectively.

It is a fact of nature that no one can view him or herself objectively. Our self-perception & experience of ourselves is warped by all sorts of factors and even the most balanced folk amongst us is affected by this humanity. This makes us visceral & irrational creatures!

The meaning of objective is ‘detached/unemotional/unbiased’, but our vision of ourselves is clouded by our inner voice, other people, our environment, our habits & our desires, (not to mention the wider influence of society as a whole).

We must find an emotive outside source to investigate our ‘self’ and our world because if we let ‘ourselves’ rule without this, we are simply missing out on a certain fullness when it comes to our self-expression through our style.

It is my experience that everyone struggles with thoughts that are born out of something other than what they truly are. Their mother’s/sister’s/partner’s words, their own self-limiting beliefs, or simply the way they perceive their own reflection every day. The subjective pitfalls that hold us in an ‘old script’ are misleading and can take on a powerful life of their own and can seriously damage your health.

Here’s an example: I meet so many incredible people who, when they stand in front of the mirror, see only a part of themselves that is ‘too big’ or ‘not good enough’, and I’d go as far as to say that this instinct is poison. Nearly all of us will see something we don’t like to some degree, and you’ll be relieved to hear that this is simply human – but you’ll be even more pleased to know that an outsider’s perspective can shift things immensely! Who might you ask? Food for thought, right?

2. We are hampered by the traditional styling principles, body shapes and colour rules.

I’ve talked about this a lot elsewhere, but it is such an important point in relation to finding an objective perspective, that it is my number two reason!

The rules of body shape & colour have such a habitual place in most people’s minds, that this is hard to overcome by ourselves. Many women will tell me they are a pear, apple, column, triangle, oval or some other 2d, repressive object that they have believed to be their guiding light for years and years!

This is nearly always driven by observing the ‘worst’ part of themselves first and then trying to compensate for that perceived flaw. Here are some examples:

My hips are wide = I am a pear = I must balance myself out.

My tummy is fat = I am an apple/oval = I must create a waist.

I am short = I am petite = I must elongate.

I am pale skinned = I am a ‘light’ = I must wear ‘light’ colours.

These rules affect us so fundamentally, that we desperately need a new system that liberates us from restrictions whilst still offering a structure to work within. One that encompasses the whole person, is uplifting and refreshing, and offers life-long results.

 So what to do?

Navigating these issues can be challenging, but the rewards are so great! Feeling confident in your Image and style and how you express your unique essence, is vital. It can be scary to reach out but if you do, you’ll see new possibilities opening up and learn so much about yourself too!

We do know ourselves really - deep down, and you’ll forgive me if I seem to be contradicting myself now, but I’ve often felt that my part in this process as an Image coach, is in fact to reconnect people with their best instincts, highlight what they haven’t seen yet, reject the bad stuff & bring out the best!

You can consider asking a good friend. Someone who knows & loves you well - and is honest. This isn’t always ideal, but it is certainly a great place to start. Ask them for words that describe you. Ask them to describe your physical characteristics in broad, beautiful terms! Ask them to tell you what it feels like when you walk into a room.

If you need more, then check out my Image Identity Programme here